If you are blessed enough to afford a house in this day and age, chances are, at some point you will want to renovate the place. One of the rooms in a house that most people tear apart and reconstruct to their liking is the kitchen. You enter the kitchen, look around and realize how much you loathe the faded wooden countertop, the kitchen island is inaccessibly far from the stove and fridge, the cupboards are an unattractive shade of beige and the grout in the tiles is begging for a facelift. A crack in the wall there, a busted stove here, scratches on the faucet and sink. You silently vow to whip that space into shape.
The first thing you think about is your budget – you decide to work within it. You hire professionals to get the job done and after a noisy couple of weeks or months, your dream kitchen is now a reality. On the flip side of that, let’s say you don’t really have a design plan in mind so you hire a contractor and trust their vision. In the end, you have a new kitchen that is worse than before. It is not functional, the colour scheme is all wrong and it is just a mess. What do you do? You do nothing because that was all a nightmare. You are safe and secure with the kitchen in your condo or apartment – because let’s face it, the housing prices today are enough to give you heart palpitations. Instead, you think to yourself “I wonder how many ways there are to ruin a kitchen?” If you continue reading, you will be amazed at the endless possibilities of ridiculous hilarities.
20 Tiling Toil
In a small space, one needs to be careful with colors chosen. This kitchen is breaking all sorts of design rules. The geometric patterns on the tile would work in a much larger space. This sort of tile is best when used sparingly. Plastering it all over an already tiny kitchen makes the room unbreathable and visually unappealing. There is hardly any storage space in the kitchen. One wrong move and some of the items on those open shelves will come tumbling down. If all this wasn’t enough, there is a mirror in the ceiling. Unless one is used to this kitchen, looking up while cooking might give you a headache. It looks like something out of a fairground funhouse, but decidedly un-fun.
19 Dysfunctional Drawers
The constructor had one job. Well he/she had several but among them is to make sure everything is made in a way that is functional, at the very least. These two drawers contradict each other and the ample storage opportunity was wasted. The section of the counter to the right should have been a bit longer and the corner was placed in the wrong spot. The doors of the cupboard below are also affected. The only remedy here is to remove the large handles on everything and replace them with much smaller pieces. These would have to be aligned to the far right of the draws. Yes, both doors will not be able to stay open at the same time. That is the price one pays for not paying attention to detail.
18 Meet Fred Flintsone
Yaba daba do! Or in this case, don’t. The things that are in a cartoon should stay there. The late great Dick Clark thought otherwise. Architect Phillip Brown designed the Flintstones inspired home. It was built in The Santa Monica Mountains. In 2014, the home was sold by Clark’s widow for $1.778 million. This kitchen featured here is a part of that home. Like all the rooms in the home, the kitchen is made of steel and concrete. The only charming thing is the view from the kitchen windows must be breathtaking. This home and by extension the kitchen is not for those who are sticklers for symmetry and balance.
17 Sausage Fest
The kitchen island in the picture was designed by an architectural firm at the behest of a client. Yes. Someone actually requested that a giant sausage be the focal point of their kitchen. Side note – that crow in the corner and the owl lamp add on to the layers of creepy and weird. How can one stand comfortably at the island and do anything on that counter? It is just a huge red blob in the centre of an otherwise perfect room. This sausage- like kitchen island is made of tadelakt plaster and the counter is made with basalt. The edges were chipped to give the counter a rugged appearance. Just, why.
16 Dinner With Dracula
These cupboards are to die for! I doubt anyone would say that about these coffin cupboards. If you want a constant reminder of death in your kitchen then maybe these are for you. These would be a great design gift for the vampire and Dracula fan in your life. Storage space should be able to hold more than one or two kitchen items. The narrow design of these oddities is a waste of valuable storage space. The choice of wood used is so lacklustre. If they were painted white maybe there would be some hope. On second thought no. Take it back to the woodwork shop and leave it there.
15 France Follies
The owner of this kitchen decided that plastering the counters with vinyl that looks like Provincial France was a good idea. It’s nice to be sentimental. No one can judge you for wanting to always have a reminder of a beautiful location you visited. But, the days when wallpaper reigned supreme in home designs are long gone. The heavy patterns take you back in time and not in a good way. Wallpapers with simple patterns are acceptable but when they detract from the overall beauty of a room, they are not the way to go. This is a definite no if you want to create a modern room. Instead, stick to wooden cabinets and hang up a photo of your holiday on the wall instead.
14 We're Puzzled By This Green and White Jigsaw
This is a life-size completed jigsaw puzzle. No, it’s not really that. What exactly is going on here? The odd green and white shapes draw your attention all over the room. You are not certain where to focus your attention. The design won Kitchens for Living’s first annual Crazy Kitchen Award. It was the most impractical, confusing and disorienting kitchen which met all the criteria for the award. We can all agree that this is not the place for cooking or eating. It’s also not wise to keep your eyes fixed on it for too long - much like staring directly at an eclipse, we're sure sustained eye contact here would make you go blind. It’s hard to imagine that this kitchen has a place outside of the Crazy Kitchen award completion.
13 Houston, We Have A Problem
People should not imitate everything they see on TV. This Tron inspired kitchen is a prime example. It's all white and visually appealing. However, there is, yet again, an issue with functionality. The countertop space is lacking. This kitchen is too sanitized and looks more like a room in a futuristic hospital or workspace. And what is up with the chairs and dining table? They do not seem comfortable. This kitchen is fun to look at but it may not be such a good idea to install in a home with actual people. Just because something is cool, does not mean it would work in the real world.
12 Cubist Conundrum
The first thing that stands out about this kitchen is that the sink is shaped like a toilet or a garbage bin. Of all the receptacles in the world, those are what you want your sink to look like? What's more, the sink is attached to a slim counter on wheels. The perpendicular placing of the counter is bizarre. It would be a headache just to get anything done in here. Unless you get really used to the layout of everything, you would no doubt bump into ends of this ridiculous setup - we see a lot of bruised hipbones in your future. This is not visually appealing or functional.
11 Central Command Kitchen
Odd, scant, sparse and surgical are the words that best describe this room. It is a half-empty kitchen at best. Where is the storage space? The space on the countertop is almost non-existent. The two-piece kitchen perched at these odd angles look as though they are going to take flight at any moment. The pointy corners seem like a hazard as well. You would surely suffer one or two bruises in your kitchen if you choose this design. The curve of the two pieces would take up well-needed space in an ordinary kitchen as they cannot be pushed onto the wall. The room would have to be specially designed or another kitchen would have to fill the outer edges of the room.
10 Black Diamond Blunder
Choosing the right tile for your remodeling project is not a task to be taken too lightly. There are so many options for sizing, coloring and design. It is equally important that the placement of the tiles be perfect. Aligning the tiles in aesthetically pleasing fashion is key. The tiling design in this kitchen is a poster board for “what not to do”. The black tiles seem as though they were arranged by an artistically challenged renovator who has no basic understanding of geometric patterns. If you remove the black tiles from the design, this kitchen may be salvageable. The tiling on the floor is also not the best choice – the large white tiles need to be complemented by much better cupboards and kitchen island design.
9 Fake Brick Makes Us Sick
This fake brick kitchen is not going to cut it. One side of the wall is white; one side is laden with tiles that mimic brickwork. The other visible section of the wall just above the fridge is beige. The tiles on the floor are two shades of swamp green. This color scheme is nauseating. If the designer wanted to create a ‘fake-brick’ kitchen, then they should not try to pass off this shoddy workmanship. The tiling is sloppy and uneven. Why not tile the other side of the wall? Why give the walls in such a tiny room three different colors and textures? The floor is another element that makes this even more nightmarish.
8 Department Store Dread
This is not the makeup counter at your favourite cosmetics store, it is not the check-out point in a fancy store. It is a kitchen. The space is clean and the design is sleek and modern. However, this is not a functional kitchen. The counter space is so small that it is a bit hard to understand how one is supposed to enjoy preparing some complex dishes in it. The sinks are way too small and they are facing the wrong way. Any sudden moves while washing dishes or a simple spoon will create some interesting waterworks. Also, where is the storage space? The kitchen would only work for someone who doesn't ever want to cook in it.
7 Splash City
The last thing you want in anywhere in your home, but especially the kitchen, is faulty plumbing. When a faucet or piping system is being installed, it needs to be aligned with the width and length of the sink in mind. A faucet that is too close to the wall will cause water to get into the counter and cause water damage. One that is too close to the sink’s edge will cause water to splash on the floor and the person using the pipe. This is why it is important for a professional plumber to be on hand when renovating or designing a kitchen.
6 Something Fishy About This
This design is nice to look at but it defeats the purpose of what a kitchen is. The island is on top of a built-in aquarium. The counter can be raised up when it’s time to feed the fish. This function is facilitated by a button on the counter. One would have to move really carefully to get anything done. It is not for the clumsy. The aquarium is most likely made from triple pane glass or something similar. It would perhaps take a lot of force to break it. Even with that reassurance, this kitchen is not trustworthy and would be better suited as a piece of art rather than play a part in daily life. Also, we could probably never prepare fish in this kitchen, it would just seem cruel.
5 LEAF kitchen
This minimalist dream kitchen is clean and free of clutter. The island consists of the stove and faucet. There does not seem to be enough space on the countertop. Cooking here would be a balancing act due to the slope of the counter. The entire thing just stands awkwardly in the room. It is completely fine to ignore geometric rules but not in this fashion. Hi-Macs – the makers of this Leaf kitchen designed it to be open, airy and ergonomic. By looking at it, it does not seem so ergonomic. One would need to create additional counter space to make it work.
4 We'd Desert This Island
What exactly is this supposed to be, you ask? It may take some time to formulate an answer. I imagine the designer would tell you it is a kitchen island, we would tell you it looks more like the entryway to a haunted museum. This monstrosity is a waste of wood. Those trees sacrificed themselves in vain. It is an eyesore and useless. It does not fit in with anything in the room. The other pieces of furniture and fixtures are white, black and sleek. This tacky centerpiece seems to have come from nowhere. Perhaps the owner of this kitchen is holding on to it for some sentimental reason. Maybe it’s a family heirloom or it’s a reminder of sweeter times.
3 An Apple A Day...
There is no need to ask this homeowner to name their favorite fruit. It’s all over the kitchen! Someone went to town with this apple-themed kitchen. Nothing was spared. The style of wood used on the walls make this kitchen looks even more dated. This is something that belongs in the 90’s or 80’s, or maybe just nowhere at all. Perhaps it would do well as the setting for a cartoon fairy tale. It is a confined space that is made even smaller by the repetitive design theme. This room no doubt gives joy to the owner but if you stumbled into it one day you’d be confused, amused and fascinated all at once.
2 Ugly Brown Cupboards
At first glance, these cupboards look like they are in need of a desperate cleaning. If you take a second look, you will come to the realization that those ugly wooden doors were designed that way. The rectangular designs on each door are as unattractive as they are unnecessary. The cupboards cast an overbearing shadow over the entire room. Imagine having to cook in this kitchen. You would get a serious headache just by looking at the décor. Your kitchen should be an organized, beautiful space, not an eyesore. The only remedy for this kitchen would be to tear it all down, throw it out and start again.
1 Take Shelter
Is this a house within a kitchen or a kitchen within a house? What is this room trying to be? The roof over the kitchen is absolutely unnecessary. If the roof on that section of the room was open then it would make sense. This is a puzzling design by a French designer Grégoire De Lafforest. This kitchen is in a loft. If you have lived in a loft or an apartment, you will understand the importance of ventilation. The food aroma and steam would get backed up inside the kitchen. Why not leave it as an open area or remove the roof from the design?