Everyone loves a good gag gift. Funny and often useless, gags are a perfect way to share a laugh with your loved ones. With Christmas just around the corner, it’s time to start looking for the perfect presents to fill up your family’s and friends’ stockings, and your search for the most hilarious gag has got you on the right track. The days of socks and keychains in stockings are behind us!
Whether they love cooking, are a huge foodie, or just like to eat in general (which of course, who doesn’t?), these kitchen gag gifts will be the perfect addition to their home. However, some of these utensils are actually so useful you’ll probably want to keep them for yourself!
Or perhaps you’ve got someone in mind that has been a little naughty this year. Gift shopping for these sort of people is always a fair bit trickier. Some of these gags are about as useless as a lump of coal, so pop them in their stocking to let them know Santa ain’t happy, and that they need to lift their game next year.
You may think there’s nothing more in your kitchen that you need, but you’d be surprised how useful some of these objects are. You probably didn’t know that you actually need a coffee mug that also has a designated donut holder in it, but believe me, you do. From baking cups, to bottle openers and dish sets, add a little flavour to your cooking area with these funny, endearing and handy kitchen utensils.
18 Useful: The Magnificent Donut Hole Coffee Mug
Magnificent is an understatement. As a gift, your buddy doesn’t even need to be a cop for this to be useful. In fact, this is so useful I’m not sure I’d be willing to give it away. This mug unites two things that were simply made for each other. Coffee and donuts. If coffee isn’t your thing, hot chocolate or tea will also do the trick. The donut could also be replaced with your favourite tea biscuits or the like.
Whoever invented this honestly deserves a medal for its’ efficiency and usefulness. Not only will the hot coffee warm up the donut in it’s designated little snuggle spot, it’ll provide the perfect mid-morning pick-me-up.
17 Useless: Nose Pepper Mill
Let’s say that again. Nose. Pepper. Mill. We’re talking rotate the lever atop the nose, out comes pepper boogers. Don’t get me wrong, pepper is a great condiment. Freshly cracked on top of scrambled eggs, spaghetti bolognese, smashed avocado on toast, you name it. But please, not out of a giant nostril. Particularly if they’re green peppercorns.
Realistically, you’ll buy it, have a chuckle, be a little grossed out. But once all your guests leave for the evening you’ll chuck it in the pantry never to be seen again, as it gets lost behind out-dated sauces and canned vegetables.
16 Useful: Moustache Egg Fryer
Step aside, regular-shaped fried eggs. Impress all your friends with the Moustache Egg Fryer, by making moustache-shaped eggs, or ‘eggstaches’ for breakfast. Sure, it’ll open up the conversation to a new range of egg and moustache puns, but they’ll be sure to get a laugh no mater how corny when your eggs look like this. Plus, if you can’t grow your own moustache - fill that void with this nifty tool.
No need to limit yourself to just eggs, either. The Moustache Egg Fryer can also be used as a pancake mould or cookie cutter… the options are endless. Eggcellent!
15 Useless: Knuckle Meat Pounder
A heavy duty meat tenderiser shaped like brass knuckles sounds like a violent way to get a simple job done. Not only do they incite violence, are they even legal? I’m all for getting out a bit of frustration through physical activity, like boxing or martial arts. Or perhaps just a healthy chat. But using a weapon-like piece of metal on a dead animal carcass is a little messed up!
Plus, if you’re that frustrated, there might not even be any edible meat left. Talk about useless. Let’s stick to using traditional meat tenderisers and leave the brass knuckles to, well, no one.
14 Useful: Muffin Tops Baking Cups
Everyone loves a little muffin top! Overflowing with deliciousness, these baking cups act as a super-cute reminder that there’s nothing wrong with gaining a little bit of weight over the holiday season. The blue jean style with a slight bulge over the edges is reminiscent of that stuffed-pants feeling we all get after a big holiday feast. Indulge a little, unbutton those pants, and enjoy a muffin or two.
Not to mention, cause for a fun family activity. Be it chocolate, banana, vanilla, or blueberry muffins, baking with these cups will always spark a conversation and a belly laugh.
13 Useless: Caveman Chopsticks
Alright, this one barely needs an explanation. You are literally buying sticks for $11.95. Suppose we went along with this gag, they’d be too chunky to even use in the first place. It’s suggested that they could help someone embrace the paleo diet more realistically, because surely, history got it wrong and cavemen actually used these to eat back in the day. You know, aside from rubbing them together to make fire. Once again, funny, but entirely useless.
Save yourself the time entering your credit card details and waiting for shipping and just head out into your backyard if this is a gag that tickles your fancy.
12 Useful: Citrus Saw + Bottle Opener
The gadget that we’ve all been waiting for. The multi-functional kitchen utensil that cuts your lemons and limes and can simultaneously pop open a cold beer, cider or other bottled beverage. It’s versatility is impressive, due to it’s ability to not only cut citrus fruits, but any fruit you might like to add to your drink. No fruit is a match for this - it is a saw after all. Perfect to whip out at your weekend lunch to quench the thirst of all your guests.
This mini saw is made of plastic not metal, perfect to avoid any drunk cocktail-making disasters.
11 Useless: Instant Inflatable Turkey
With Thanksgiving now over, this Instant Inflatable Turkey has probably even less use than it did before. Appearing just like a real roast turkey, but rubber and full of air, this turkey serves it’s function by sitting there doing nothing and smelling like rubber. There aren’t many things more disappointing than being presented with fake food, except for perhaps realising that the actual turkey that you’d planned for dinner hasn’t been cooked because you were too busy plotting your gag with this inflatable turkey. Not to mention the likelihood of it getting stabbed with a carving knife. If you’re looking for a fake turkey, Tofurkey (Tofu Turkey) should do just fine.
10 Useful: Ninjabread Men Cookie Cutters
Catch them if you can! Get the whole family in the kitchen to experiment with these Ninjabread Men Cookie Cutters. Adults and kids alike can enjoy this fun new take on the classic gingerbread men, with an extra stealthy flair. Channel your inner Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and decorate your cookies with your favourite butt kicking frosting designs and chocolate buttons.
Just like a ninja, they’ll be gone before you know it. If you even saw them at all. Expect ultimate ninja warrior battles, karate chopping and many, many crumbs.
Also, ninjas are cool. Need I say more?
9 Useless: Frozen Smiles Ice Tray
Grandpa’s lost his dentures again! Oh, hold on a second, they’re just ice cubes shaped like dentures made in your Frozen Smiles Ice Tray. Righto. The ice cubes will be the only ones actually smiling at this gag, with most people wanting to run in the opposite direction. Particularly with the thought of drinking denture cleansing solution. Gross! Let’s leave all your dentistry necessities to the dentist and not your ice cube manufacturer.
In fact, this gag might scare your guests away even before the first course is ready. Not to mention a brain freeze for a confused grandparent!
8 Useful: Top Hat Espresso Cup and Saucer Set
For your inner coffee snob. This marvellous Top Hat Espresso Cup and Saucer Set will transport you all the way back to the nineteenth century, where you can be the envy of all your friends with your fancy top hat cup and saucer. Just don’t try to actually wear it, as that will likely end up quite atrociously.
Drink your coffee with the ultimate class, and feel slightly more dapper these holidays as you delicately sip your espresso out of your top hat and say ‘Good Day, Sir’ whilst you purse your lips and furrow your brow. Simply ravishing!
7 Useless: Bacon Frosting
When I think of bacon, I think of the wafting smell of delicious greasiness throughout the air along with the smell of fresh toast and eggs. I think of a rich carbonara pasta. I think of bacon-wrapped roast chicken, beef, asparagus. I most certainly do not think of bacon frosted cake. I think I’d like to keep it that way. Leave this bacon frosting in the back of the cupboard with the previously mentioned Nose Pepper Mill. Or better yet, if you’re looking for something sweet and bacon-y, invest in something more useful, like a whole bunch of bacon to cook up with maple syrup and waffles. Now that is something I’d like to think about!
6 Useful: Onion Holder
It’s easy to quickly forget about half-used vegetables left in the fridge, only to stumble upon them when they’re well past their best. Avoid forgetting and extend the shelf life of your onions by placing them in this onion holder that’s literally shaped like an onion. Save your tears by storing them in this airtight holder that traps odours and helps reduce browning, moulding and rotting. Sure, you could just place them in another airtight container, but where’s the fun in it if it’s not shaped like an onion? You could even play pranks on your family members by placing other cut fruit and vegetables in the onion.
5 Useless: Air Hockey Salt + Pepper Shakers
Combining bottles of powdered substances and sports is a great idea, right? Wrong. No, I’m not talking about a doping scandal. I’m talking about these Air Hockey Salt and Pepper shakers that are hockey handles filled with ground salt and pepper. Whipping these out at the Christmas dinner is a disaster waiting to happen.
The excitement begins as you place the hockey puck on your dining room table, which of course, is nothing like an air hockey table. You and your opponent face off on opposite ends of the table, unaware of the impending doom you are about to cause. You smash the hockey puck across the table, and unwittingly throw the pepper shaker/handle you’re holding along with it. It hits the floor and the lid bursts open, causing pepper to go everywhere. You’re sneezing, mom’s screaming, the baby’s crying. In the distance, sirens.
4 Useful: Manatea Tea Infuser
Sometimes we just need to remind ourselves to relax this holiday season. What better way to do so than with a manatee floating in your steamy cup of chamomile? This super cute sea cow floats effortlessly in your mug, and I’m pretty sure it’s having a great time. As it charmingly flops it’s flippers across the rim of your mug, you’ll fall in love with this little marine mammal. Not to mention helping to improve the environment by being reusable and minimising waste. Fill it up with your favourite loose-leaf tea and let it steep while you snuggle up in front of the fireplace with your new aqua buddy.
3 Useless: Sriracha Sippy Cup
It’s no secret that Sriracha is one of the most popular hot sauces on the worldwide market. The iconic bottle produced by Huy Fong Foods has got people going crazy for it’s addictive sweet and spicy flavour. It’s an obsession to the point where some people put it on everything, from chicken wings or hot noodle soup to ice cream. I do understand it, but giving your toddler a Sriracha-style sippy cup is just one step too far. Sure, it would be funny for a few snaps of the camera, but picture your kiddo crawling into the cupboard and opening the actual Sriracha bottle because it looked like their sippy cup. Let’s leave this spicy bottle of deliciousness to the adults.
2 Useful: Nachosaurus Nacho Dip and Snack Dish Set
Take your nachos to the next level with a matching set of dip and chip holders. With tortilla chips as spikes, kids and adults alike will flock to this dish styled with prehistoric awesomeness. The stegosaurus-turned-nachosaurus will no doubt impress the whole family at snack time, not to mention helping persuade those picky eaters. You can even fill up the nachosaurus with other pointy-looking snacks, like pretzels, multigrain crackers or vegetable sticks to make meal time slightly more enticing for the little ones. Just don’t let them get any idea about pterodactyls - this nachosaurus will certainly not cope with flight!
1 Useless: Nacho Cheese Candle
Made by The Stinky Candle Co, it’s hard to believe this candle would go well-placed on your bedside table or as a complement to your relaxing bath. Who in their right mind would actually light this and wait for the stench to waft through the house? I hate to say it, but this could actually ruin nacho cheese for so many people. If you’re looking for the perfect gift to give to someone you dislike, you’ve probably just found it. Just make sure they don’t light it while they’re still in your company. It’s not a funny gag if you have to smell it too!