Wizard culture is sure fascinating. If there is one very colorful trait of the Harry Potter saga, it is the magical and unreal treats that the characters enjoy in every movie.
Indeed, wizards seem to eat quite well and to have no problems whatsoever with calories or cholesterol. Who does not remember the countless end-of-year feasts in the Hall, with all four Houses gathered before Dumbledore making a speech? I am pretty much sure all years also start with a feast. Those feasts were always associated with receiving mail, whether it was a broom or the howler Ron received from his mother. Nevertheless, food remained the main sacred event unless meals were interrupted by a troll or other bewitching announcements.
I am almost jealous that I am a Muggle and not a Witch, just because of the food. Now, beware of the magic, because some of the treats we all remember as we watched the movies or read the books in the 2000’s, are actually pretty gross. Are wizards made differently so that they can actually enjoy those very strange snacks? After all, vampires drink blood… I have always remembered since I watched Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone about the Bertie Bott's beans tasting like boogers… what an experience that must be. No, I have never tasted my own boogers.
Having trouble deciding which magical treats to make over the Christmas holiday for your Harry Potter marathon? Worry do not, dear Muggle, we got you covered and we will make sure you are ready to embark upon your magical journey at Hogwarts. Here are all the Harry Potter snacks, ranked from worst to best.
20 Blood-Flavored Lollipops
Ew. Ew, ew, ewww. Lollipops tasting like blood would probably only appeal to vampires, wouldn't they? We remember Harry hiding in his invisibility cloak and taking one away right out of Neville's mouth. And whose blood makes these lollipops? Pretty strange if you ask me. We do suck our fingers when we get paper cuts, without making candy out of it. Even wizards are not sure about them, as they are sold in the "unusual tastes" section of the candy shop. We will have the strawberry flavored lollipop please. No, the other red one.
19 Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans
Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans always seemed like the craziest bet to make with your palate. Harry Potter’s characters would taste these beans and end up with a nice taste or a crazy one, to their own peril. Now, is a booger flavored bean actually based on collected boogers? Or maybe is a magical spell cast on the beans to make you think that is what you are tasting? These are the kind of questions that come to mind when you risk eating such things. Remember when Harry was delivered an entire trolley of express snacks at the end of the first movie, in the nursery, and Dumbledore got an earwax flavored bean? How on earth would he know what earwax tastes like?
18 Drooble's Best Blowing Gum
Some of the Special Effects sweets for which we do not see any use are Drooble’s Best Blowing Gums. Crazyberry-flavoured and bluebell-coloured, these crazy chewing gums will blow into bubbles that will refuse to pop for days and fill the entire room. These gums always reminded me of the blueberry gum that Violet Beauregarde chewed on in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to end up turning into a rolling round blueberry herself. Drooble’s Best Blowing Gums would be a fascinating way to get rid of some obstacle and get a bad guy stuck in a room. Now if gum is used to fight off the bad guys in the wizard world, what could they possibly use to have minty fresh breath, with all the strange foods they consume?
17 Licorice Wands
Ron would have liked to try one of those licorice wands on the Hogwarts Express before realizing it was indeed too expensive. Licorice wand was also one of the guesses as Harry tried to enter Dumbledore’s office. The thing with licorice is that either you love it or you hate it, there is no in between. In the wizard world, it is not much use for casting spells, but perfect as a tasty treat. We will pass and rather acquire an actual wand, please. Now, if you are craving some licorice wands as part of your new year’s diet, here is the best recipe we found, only because it’s you.
16 Chocolate Frogs
Chocolate frogs are basically the wizard equivalent of human cereal boxes, where they get to collect the cards of famous wizards and witches. And sometimes, an actual frog would fly out of the chocolate frog box. These boxes make a great gift for Christmas: Harry got some from Hagrid, and Ron got some too after being sent to the infirmary. It seems like when ending up in the nursery, wizards will get express trolley snacks instead of flowers. And so, the wizards collect and trade the cards as we did Pokemon cards, and chase the chocolate frogs. Apparently, the magical substance croakoa allows the frogs to hop like real ones. Personally, I would not want a live real chocolate frog to hop into my mouth. I prefer them fried.
15 Fizzing Whizbees
The popular fizzing whizbees are large sherbet (which is a flavored sweet effervescent fizzy powder) balls that will make you float off the ground. Shaped like a chocolate bee with a fruity flavor in the center, they are one of Harry Potter’s favorite sweets. The main ingredient would apparently be dried billywig stings. Now, while levitating is pretty awesome, I would only take the bee animal ingredient away though. Levitating should be a given for wizards and witches. I remember Harry floating with smoke coming out of his ears. I personally only have to lose it in order to do that.
14 Cauldron Cakes
Cauldron cakes! Great for sharing, simple for tasting, so why not make it more complex? Tempting Harry Potter and Ron Weasley on their first trip on the Hogwarts Express, cauldron cakes are present throughout several episodes of the saga. They resemble chocolate chip muffins or cupcakes, and are pretty ordinary. Based on its chocolate flavour, the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando even made variants of it that turned cauldron cakes more and more into sugar cakes with chocolate mousse fillings and orange butter creme flames. Might as well put Hansel and Gretel in the cauldron, am I right?
If you like butterscotch, then this drink is for you, so go brew yourself a nice and cold foaming mug of butterbeer! First of all, it has nothing to do nether with butter or beer. Three ingredients: sugar, water, and butterscotch. Now beware, the whole brewing process might be magic dear Muggles, and this beverage is to be consumed moderately and brewed in the presence of a wizard of drinking age. Do not feed your house elves butterbeer, or they will get drunk just like Professor Wink. Those incredibly cheap butterbeer prices at about 2 sickles a beer (0.60 pounds) really make it feel like Europe. Bottoms up!
Coming from Mother Nature, the beauty of potatoes is that they are a necessity to every good and fulfilling meal, and that does not exclude feasts at Hogwarts. Every beginning and end of year will show mountains of foods in the Great Hall, and every year, you can count on potatoes. Potatoes make you feel warm, filled, and loved. They can be mashed or sautéed or boiled. A nice puree will always be appreciated. They will always be there for you, and we hope you had a Christmas full of potatoes and their nutrients. That’s their magic, and wizards got it.
11 The Birthday Cake
Ah, remember your first birthday cake? No, you probably don't, just like me. Harry was eleven years old when he got his first birthday cake, and it warms our hearts when we remember that scene in Harry Potter And The Philosopher's Stone. In a way, this cake landmarked the quality of wizard foods that the saga would incorporate alongside our favorite characters, a synonym of loving, caring, special events, and what better way was there to start it off than with Harry's birthday? This huge chocolate cake with pink and green icing marked an important moment for an entire generation as Hagrid pulled it out a bit squished, with shaky writing on the surface. Simple, plain, non-magic, cake, which we're sure was just mediocre, and yet, probably the most delicious thing Harry had ever eaten.
Granted, tea is not the most original or magic drink for wizards from the UK. And yet, it is recurrent in the Harry Potter movies. Hagrid requests it, for not being able to drink something stronger. Ms. Weasley makes some when people get upset. Remus Lupin uses tea bags and a kettle, to offer Harry some tea. The divination class shows the Grim to Harry, made out of tea leaves. Oh, and Dolores Umbridge uses tea, mainly to cut all the veritaserum she was pouring into students' mouths, in order to obtain information. I would not be surprised if her tea cups also imprisoned some pink cats. Tea is, like potatoes, a necessity throughout wizarding life. And Muggle life for some, when it is not coffee.
9 Pumpkin Pasties
Pasties being a traditional meat pie, pumpkin pasties replace the meat and vegetables fillings with pumpkin filling. Yummy and nutritious for Fall, although not enough protein for the Winter. Harry tries a pumpkin pasty for the first time as he orders almost the entire Hogwarts Express trolley, to Ron's surprise. Everything pumpkin. We believe Ms. Weasley's recipe is delicious, but we are not convinced with the pumpkin. It remains too easy and Halloween-y for the wizarding world, and you will see pumpkin juice is not far ahead in the ranking. The magic of homemade however, is undeniable.
8 The Post-Dementor Chocolate
In Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, the Hogwarts Express is the stage of quite a dark experience for our hero. A dementor apprehends Harry and he passes out. Professor Lupin saves him and because he is the new professor of Defense Against The Dark Arts, he knows one must be given chocolate after such attack. We muggles also need chocolate after we faint, to bring back all the happiness that was sucked right out of us. Chocolate is magic like that, and it probably tastes amazing after you had to feed your worst fears to a faceless flying skeleton.
7 Treacle Tart
A moment later the desserts appeared. Blocks of ice cream in every flavour you can think of, apple pies, treacle tarts, chocolate eclairs and jam doughnuts, trifle, strawberries, jelly, rice pudding...As Harry helped himself to a treacle tart, the talk turned to their families.
Treacle tart is one of Harry's favorites. Shortcut pastry and golden syrup make this heavenly dessert. The word treacle actually generated from uncrystallized syrup during the refining of sugar. It is usually served with cream or custard. Hermione refuses to have some at one of Hogwarts' feasts as they are often cooked by Hogwarts house-elves, which went against her S.P.E.W club morals. Ron then argues that it is so delicious and she will not make the elves free by starving herself. Good point, Ron. But first, make Dobby a free elf, then see if he makes your treacle tart.
Gillywater, made from gillyweed and water, is a drink that several Harry Potter characters have ordered. Remember, gillyweed is the algae that Harry had to swallow in order to be able to breathe underwater and grow fish toes, in order to win a challenge for the Goblet of Fire. I would not mind eating some of those healthy leaves to turn into The Little Mermaid for the day, although those fish attributes given by the special weed are not the most charming ones, but you do breathe underwater. Now, there is another type of weed that we all know to have other well-known and desired special effects… the Sopophorous bean.
5 Pumpkin Juice
Isn't pumpkin juice the next best Starbucks coffee drink? We think so. If pumpkin spice lattes have become the basic white girl warm coffees during the Fall, pumpkin juice is bound to become the next of its tastiest refreshing drinks. Make it fizzy and festive like the Wesley twins by adding some apple juice, apricot, nutmeg and cinnamon to it. Just yum. When will we start seeing pumpkin juice next to apple juice and orange juice in the supermarket? Why are pumpkins forever bound to warm beverages like coffee and soup? I need juice, people need the juice! (For all fans of Friends out there, you got me).
4 Weasley's Puking Pasties (And Other Candy)
Maybe you do not remember, but in the fifth book, the entire school is at the mercy of Professor Umbridge from the Ministry of Magic. She is a true villain, though this ended up being great for Fred and George's business. At one point, they offer some of their puking pastilles and other enchanted candies to the younger kids in order for them to get sick and avoid taking their exams and going to class. Who of you has not made their mom believe they were sick in order to skip school? Now, if you had the candy for it, you would have been believable, and really sick. Must not tell lies, remember?
3 Giggle Water
Although Giggle Water had its heyday during the US prohibition period, this drink that Newt, Tina, Queenie, and more especially Jacob Kowalski enjoyed in Fantastic Beasts, we're sure that wizards in Harry's era are still drinking the stuff. As per its name, it is a drink that makes you laugh out loud. With such euphoric properties, classic to the 1920's, we cannot help but wonder whether Giggle Water would have made Severus Snape a hoot, Hermione Granger less goody goody, or even used as a way to throw off your enemies. I know I want to try it to laugh at my 2018 before ringing into the New Year!
2 No-Melt Ice Cream
No-melt ice cream is what has been missing from my life. As a kid, you must remember what a struggle it must have been to hustle around the ice cream cone, rotate it with your tiny hands, find you way around it without brilliantly dropping it on the floor and then having to beg your parents for a new one. No-melt ice cream is the best innovation. If not magic, it would probably be filled with some weird chemicals, but it would change the ice cream industry forever. No-melt ice cream gets the silver medal, because ice cream, forever.
1 Hagrid's Rock Cakes
Hagrid’s rock cakes are to me the best Harry Potter food you can find. Granted that Hagrid’s lifestyle has always been surrounded by a drooling but friendly dog as well as giant spiders, a dragon egg, and other kinds of weird potions, which quite frankly never inspired in me the safety of my grandmother’s cooking, but Hagrid has a giant heart. Well, he is a half giant after all. He made Harry this lovely but squished birthday cake. Basically, these rock cakes are delicious scones but butchered by the loving hands of a giant, with big chunks of chocolate or raisins. Who does not love big chunks? The recipe anyone? There you go.