There is a microwaveable Sonic The Hedgehog curry dinner available in Japan that will turn you and everything you love blue.
We’ve got a lot to unpack here. Japan does a lot of things with cuisine that would often freak out the rest of the world, but a Sonic The Hedgehog curry is right up at the top of the list. Even worse than those melting Pikachu-faced donuts.
We have Twitter user @jongraywb for this piece of cultural dissemination, although we’re not entirely sure if the world is a better place for know this or not.
What you see before you is a microwaveable dinner from Japan. The box itself is modeled after the original box art for the Sega Master System’s version of the classic gotta-go-fast game, Sonic The Hedgehog. Inside is a plastic packet of rice and a separate packet of blue curry sauce.
I’ve seen a lot of worst things but this might be the worstiest thing of them all. pic.twitter.com/nmbHyUeqCM— Jonathan H. Gray 😌 (@jongraywb) November 18, 2018
Right off the bat, there’s a bit of false advertising. If we’re going to eat a Sonic The Hedgehog-themed dinner, it should bloody well look like Sonic The chili-dog-lovin’ Hedgehog. This product just produces a cup of cooked rice with some terrifyingly bright blue sauce. To make it look like the real Sonic, you need to add something vaguely brownish for the lower jaw, and something black for the eyes, nose, and mouth.
What’s worse are reports that the blue colored curry does some interesting things when it comes out the other end. According to a follow-up tweet that translates several Japanese comments, it turns your excrement the same vibrant blue as the curry. It also turns your tongue, teeth, and even your toilet bowl blue.
Special Stage: GET BLUE POO SPHERES pic.twitter.com/ewcHJDp8zp— Jonathan H. Gray 😌 (@jongraywb) November 18, 2018
This begs a very important question, which one Japanese guinea pig asked: "What's scary is that stuff was inside my stomach for two days before it came out so is the inside of my stomach also blue?"
We may never know. But probably yes.
Japan, we love your attempt to turn modern (or semi-modern) cartoon characters into delicious edible meals, but please refrain from turning everyone’s toilet bowl into a terrifying shade of blue. It’s just not natural.