To say that the flavor of jelly beans has undergone a bit of a change would be a severe understatement. Not only have companies such as Jelly Belly revamped their flavor list, but they've completely reinvented the list of what's acceptable to taste when eating one. The only proof you need of this is by simply picking up a pack of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans because when they say "every flavor" what they really mean is, "everything you would never normally eat". Diving into a surprise package of one of these is like playing roulette with your taste buds... You might end up with something tasting like a Devil's Food cake or you could end up eating something that tastes like a mowed-over dandelion.
That's no exaggeration, either -- "lawn clippings" is a well-known flavor, as is "grass", and neither of them is very pleasant. However, these beans make up a small percentage of what you're really likely to find in the crazy world of modern jelly beans. We're about to take you on a wild ride through 25 of the most insane, disgusting, and outrageous flavors ever to grace the shelves. You'll learn of tastes that you never dreamed would flavor any type of foods, let alone what was once a delicious, innocent candy. Now, you can't pop just any jelly bean in your mouth for fear of tasting something akin to dog food... And no, we're not kidding. If you're brave enough, read on ahead to find out which devils in disguise made the list of the most unpleasant jelly bean flavors known to man.
25 Tastes Just Like Alpo: Canned Dog Food
If you were really that curious about what dog food tastes like, a can of Alpo probably costs less than an entire bag of crazy jelly bean flavors at this point. But what fun is that when you can have it in a bite-size, sugary capsule? This flavor actually exists and honestly, we wouldn't even feed this one to our dogs, no matter how much they begged. Dog food belongs in the can, not in a bag of what was once a delightful array of sweet flavors.
24 In Case You Want A Second Go: Barf
Oh, this is a fun one. In case you don't remember that time you hawked up the ten fruit-rollups you ate on a dare from your childhood best friend, here's a jelly bean to remind you of that exact moment. We all know what it tastes like, we all cringe at the memory, but for some reason, we always try to sneak these into our friends' unsuspecting hands. The worst part is not realizing what you're eating immediately, and then being told afterward... Just try to keep this one down.
23 What's That Smell: Stinky Socks
As if the smell of gym socks after a workout isn't enough, we now have a perfected flavor to go along with it. Chances are that your own dog won't even go near your feet after they've been sweating in gym sneakers all day, so why on earth would you want a jelly bean that encapsulates that flavor? We're not experts or anything, but we'd imagine it would taste mildly salty with a bit of gym floor thrown in for good measure. Chances are also that if we got one of these jelly beans, we wouldn't need a barf-flavored one.
22 Why Bother Cutting The Lawn: Lawn Clippings
There's no denying that the smell of freshly-cut grass is a delicious aroma signifying that summer has finally arrived. While the scent of a trimmed lawn is something that we welcome because it brings back fond memories of childhood, it's not necessarily something that we'd like to eat. However, it turns out that this isn't as taboo as it once was now that we have edible flowers. We'll just compare eating this jelly bean to "foraging", but instead of finding dandelion greens, you'll be eating straight grass. They're similar, right?
21 There Is Such A Thing As Too Much: Bacon
For someone out there, an entire bag of bacon-flavored jelly beans is like a Godsend. To the rest of the world, it's just too much. Bacon is amazing for breakfast, can be a wonderful burst of salt and richness in sauces and dinners, and can be a reprieve from an overly sweet dessert... But we draw the line at topped glazed donuts with crunchy bacon bits. This isn't a flavor we want in jelly beans, let alone in a candy, period.
20 It'll Ruin Your Cereal And Your Tastebuds: Spoiled Milk
There is not a single, fathomable reason for why any jelly bean should taste like something that has already expired. But of course, the flavor "spoiled milk" made this list. No one in their right mind would actually enjoy eating a jelly bean that tastes like stale dairy but it makes for a great starting point to trick a friend. If you wanted to get even crazier, crush up a few bits of this bean into their cereal in the morning -- There's a cruel joke for you.
19 Picking Your Nose Isn't Just For Kids: Booger
None of us are innocent when it comes to nose-picking. We all know what boogers taste like and we also know what it's like to be curious, hence why these jelly beans were all the rage when they first made it onto the candy scene. This might be a great way to caution your kids away from eating actual nose treasures, but then you run the risk of them learning to love these jelly beans in particular... And that will definitely take some explaining when it comes to snack time.
18 Feeling Pescatarian: Dead Fish
Strange, right? While this flavor isn't necessarily the worst on the list -- unless you can't stand fish -- it's definitely up there. What we can't seem to figure out is what the difference is between a dead fish and one that you'd eat. Unless the flavor of this tiny, seemingly innocent jelly bean is something akin to rotting fish, it just seems weirder than anything else. However, it if does have a faint hint of rotting seafood, we want absolutely nothing to do with it.
17 Appealing To No One: Rotten Egg
Speaking of rotting, why not try on a rotten egg for size? Not only is this foul in theory, but it's also absolutely gross in real life, too. It's fairly easy to tell when an egg is rotten just by the mere stench of it. It'll curl your hairs, make you cringe, and heck, it'll probably make you wish you didn't have a nose, period. Since none of us are Lord Voldemort and can't just lose our noses in the process of falling to the darkness, we have to deal with both the smell and flavor of this monstrosity.
16 Skip The Blue Cheese: Moldy Cheese
Blue cheese is the bane of many a human's existences and it's perfectly understandable. Not only do you need to deal with the flavor of a moldy, aged cheese, but you also need to deal with the slightly mildewy, damp scent that comes with it. Now, imagine that scent in a flavor -- And there you have the "moldy cheese" jelly bean. The worst part is that this is a flavor that will linger, very similar to the actual food. We're not even sure that lovers of aged cheese would enjoy this one.
15 Here's Some Spice: Black Pepper
Surely, there are people out there who absolutely love black pepper and will put it on everything. There is a difference, though, between using black pepper as an enhancement and just eating it straight as a snack. This black pepper jelly bean is sure to make your eyes water, will likely pack a punch, and will linger much longer than the actual spice does. Imagine getting a peppercorn stuck in one of your back teeth -- That's what eating this jelly bean is like.
14 A Close Second To Mud: Dirt
Many of us joke about eating dirt as a kid but Jelly Belly took those stories quite literally with the creation of this candy. That slightly damp, earthy flavor comes through in every way with this jelly bean and if you're really a nature fan, then have at it. It's probably one of the more tolerable flavors on this list, but that doesn't make it any less unpleasant. In fact, this tiny candy should probably be kicked to the dirt and left there where it belongs.
13 Go Eat Bugs: Earthworm
Speaking of dirt, evidently, a dirt-flavored jelly bean wasn't enough and a need for actual insects has since arisen... Since the next flavor on the list is "earthworm". We can't even begin to tell you what this tastes like other than we'd imagine it's very similar to dirt, with a potential meaty, ham-like flavor to it. Perhaps if you eat both jelly beans together it will enhance both flavors and become somewhat of a flavor symphony in your mouth. Or perhaps you'll just end up feeling like a bird right after lunchtime.
12 Solid Hot Sauce: Tabasco
There are some hot sauce freaks in the world and there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a little spice in your life. We've all gone through those periods where we've just loved Tabasco so much, that we've dumped it on everything until we could no longer taste anything at all. But now, you can just make your life easier by multitudes and eat a Tabasco-flavored jelly bean. We can't promise it'll be a nice experience, but we can promise that you won't likely reach for it again anytime soon.
11 If That's Not Enough: Habenero
If you're borderline clinically insane, then habanero is probably the spicy jelly bean for you. It's common when using this sweat-inducing pepper to accompany it with something sweet, such as pineapple or peach. Our only word of advice would be to find some type of sweet-flavored jelly bean to go with it, otherwise, you'll be in for surprise. We don't mean a good one, either. We'd offer you a glass of milk to extinguish the flames, but all we've got is a spoiled milk-flavored jelly bean.
10 If That's Still Not Hot Enough: Wasabi
If you really hate your taste buds that much and require significant numbness, then wasabi is also an option. The only thing that should be eaten with wasabi is sushi and even then, a pinhead-sized amount is usually enough. Otherwise, you risk liquifying your sinuses rather than just clearing them. Eat enough of these wasabi-flavored jelly beans and you'll probably get the same effect, though. Perhaps if you eat them with a dead fish-flavored jelly bean, you'll get something similar to sashimi. Or you'll just be scarred for the rest of your life.
9 Don't Bother With A Q-Tip: Earwax
Ew, ew, and one more... Ew. Earwax is bad enough in texture, let alone in flavor. It's one thing to eat boogers but it's another thing to dig around your ear canal to find amber-colored gunk as a snack. Rather than eating something that resembles a melted candle, you could just eat a jelly bean that has been flavored as such. While we can't promise it's pleasant, we can promise that's interesting. To be more specific, it's a flavor you won't likely forget anytime soon.
8 Eat One Of These When You Mouth Off To Mum: Soap
This jelly bean is every parent's dream. If you've ever gotten soap in your mouth accidentally, whether it was while washing your face or the occasional bubble escapee that floats its way out of the dish detergent, then you know exactly what to expect. Soap is a made via a basic solution, therefore it's a taste that's going to linger and will be incredibly reminiscent of your naughty childhood antics. Either that, or it'll remind you of that one time you accidentally inhaled bathwater.
7 It Won't Clean Your Teeth, Though: Toothpaste
There may be some people who genuinely enjoy the flavor of toothpaste because, after all, it is just mint -- unless you're one of those crazy people who prefer cinnamint, in which case we are not friends. Eating toothpaste is an entirely separate issue altogether because not only does your body very quickly realize that it's not food, but it's also rather painful. This jelly bean finds a solution to that, however: By taking the mint out of the toothpaste and providing you with something that will rot your teeth instead.
6 If The Soap Isn't Enough: Baby Wipes
If you've ever licked a baby wipe out of curiosity as a child, you have our sympathy. If you haven't, just imagine what soap tastes like, and then make it ten times worse. Baby wipes are intended for nothing more than exterior use and are not edible in any way, whatsoever. Apparently, jelly bean companies didn't get that memo, though, because here we are in 2018 with candy that tastes like a diaper bag. These jelly beans are useless and serve no purpose whatsoever other than torture when you accidentally eat one.
5 It's Just Like You've Been Hit: Skunk Spray
Oh yes, as if it's not bad enough to drive by a swamp and be smacked in the face by a wave of skunk stench. Now, you can eat it, too! Why on earth you'd desire this is beyond us, but it would make for one gnarly prank. The flavor behind this jelly bean is rather unimaginable since the smell of a skunk alone is enough to turn our stomachs. As far as recommendations go to clear off your taste buds, maybe some tomato soup... Or a baby wipe-flavored jelly bean.
4 Get Me To The Nearest Sharpener: Pencil Shavings
If you're scratching your head at this point then don't worry, we were too. What, pre tell, would a pencil shaving taste like? Would its jelly bean have that somewhat metallic, fresh wood scent to it? Or would it just taste like cardboard and be slightly flavorless? Someone out there will be daring enough to give this one a go, if only out of curiosity more than anything else. In all likelihood, it'll probably bring you right back to your grade-school days and the tediousness of sharpening a pencil by hand.
3 It's Bad Enough On Its Own: Licorice
The overall consensus on licorice is that it's disgusting and unnecessarily spicy. There are plenty of people out there who love it -- these are usually the same people who are the first to eat the gumdrops off a gingerbread house -- but, all in all, it's a no-go. That's why licorice is also on the gross jelly bean list because it's bad enough that jelly beans are unnecessarily sweet, they don't need to be spicy, too. We wouldn't blame you for picking all of these bad boys out of a full bag of candy.
2 It's Like Eating Potpourri: Cinnamon
This one is for all of your cinnamint lovers: We now bring you the cinnamon jelly bean. For some reason, when cinnamon is combined with candy, it just becomes overwhelming and unpleasant. These jelly beans are similar to red hots and come with a flavor that will stick with you long after you've already finished the bag. There's no denying that the cinnamon is there and there's certainly no getting rid of it, either. It's like diving into a bag of potpourri and expecting not to smell like your grandparent's linen closet.
1 Great German Dish, Bad Jelly Bean: Sausage
If you're a huge lover of sausage, then disregard. If you're like the rest of us, then you're probably just as turned off by this silly flavor as we were. The only thing it does is cause questions: do you eat it with mustard? Should we dip it in marinara sauce? Would it go well with some peppers and onions? Will these soon be replacing carnival foods? If we can't get answers to the questions, then we simply can't eat it -- not until they come out with a mustard-flavored jelly bean, anyway.