Remember back in the day when an Oreo was just white, sugary cream filling sandwiched between two chocolate cookies? The wildest they ever got was doing the double-stuf Oreos, and we were all fine with that! However, along the line, something happened at Oreo headquarters. Someone decided that the old cookies weren't good enough anymore. They might have said "People want something different! We need to change with the times and give the public options!" So the people at oreo went ahead and started messing around with their classic cookie, coming up with flavors that we honestly just can't believe made it past the brainstorming phase. Sure, there are some Oreo variations that we can get behind. Peanut butter? Sure! Mint chocolate? Why not? However, there are only so many flavors like that they can do.
It's obvious that the people at Oreo are starting to run out of ideas. They've been producing flavors that clearly were not meant for mass consumption. So, we here at the recipe would like to take this opportunity to throw our ideas into the ring. Sure, they may not be conventional, and they might even put some people off entirely. However, we think that if Oreo really wants to try and corner the market on creative cookie flavors, then they might do well to take our advice. After all, they have made all these other ridiculously ill-advised flavors, so why not really lean into it and put out some even wilder Oreos? We think that it might just be the right way to move Oreo even further into the future!
25 Make us question life: Caramel Apple
Caramel apples are pretty tasty when they're actual apples dipped in caramel. When it comes to Oreo flavors though? This kind of thing is not going to appeal to anyone. What's the worst part about these cookies? Is it the bright, artificial neon color, or the cloying, artificial apple flavor? Maybe it's just how those two problems work together in concert to create a really awful cookie. Apple-flavored things never taste like real apples, so why would these Oreos think they could even come close? Hard pass.
24 Make us question life: Pumpkin Spice
When is it going to end? Pumpkin spice has gone too far already! We suppose it's on us for thinking that Oreo would pass up the opportunity to do the most obvious flavor for their cookies. After all, they've done practically everything else, why not do something wholly unsurprising? Do these cookies taste like pumpkin pie or even a pumpkins spice latte? Kind of, but at the end of the day what they really just taste like are Oreos. Try harder, guys.
23 What we'd like to see: Cheesecake
Who doesn't love cheesecake, right? When I was a kid I thought it sounded like the grossest thing in the world. Cake made of cheese? No thanks! Show me where the cookies are and I'm happy. As adults though, we all learn that there really is something special about cheesecake. The way the tanginess of the cream cheese plays with the sugar and graham cracker crust just creates something truly magical. This would be a great Oreo flavor, especially with graham-flavored cookies.
22 Make us question life: Fruit Punch
Oh okay, so apparently Oreo ran out of foods to use as flavors, so it had to move on to drinks. Fine, we'll give fruit punch a little bit more of a pass than limeade, but still. Fruit punch is one of the most ridiculous drinks out there. Quick, what fruit does fruit punch taste like? What gives fruit punch its red color? How would you make your own fruit punch at home? You can't answer these questions! And once again, the flavor of fruit punch is not going to go well with milk at all.
21 What we'd like to see: Coffee
Yes, there are Oreos that are flavored like a Dunkin Donuts mocha, but surprisingly there are not Oreos that are flavored like regular coffee. How are they missing out on such an obvious flavor? After all, coffee Hagen Dazs is one of the best ice cream flavors out there. there's just something so appealing about the simplicity of regular coffee flavor blended with the inherent sweetness of other desserts. Coffee Oreos would be a hit, there's no doubt! Not only would coffee creme be delicious, but it would also naturally enhance the chocolate flavor of the cookie.
20 Make us question life: Cotton Candy
Okay, we need to clear something up about cotton candy. It's sugar. That is literally all it is. It is not anything else. There is no flavor profile to cotton candy. What makes it unique is the look and the feel of it. anything that is cotton candy flavored is really just sugar-flavored, and isn't that just about every dessert already? Okay, so they made the cream different colors, big whoop! These are still just Oreos that probably had slightly more sugar added to the formula, and no one really needs that.
19 What we'd like to see: Fruit Cocktail
Now here's something that could be a great Oreo flavor: the classic taste of fruit cocktail! We're not even talking about a fancy one that a chef would make. We're talking about the sticky, syrupy fruit cocktail that comes out of a can, the kind that has eliminated all semblance of textures and different flavors from the fruit, instead providing a mix of uniformly soft fruit chunks that all taste like pure sugar. Also, there has to be some cherry flavor, but not enough to make people happy, just like real fruit cocktail!
18 Make us question life: Cookie Butter
Cookie butter might just be one of the weirdest food items ever created. What is cookie butter, you ask? Well, cookie butter is made by smashing up some speculoos (a type of spiced cookie) and blending them in with butter to make a kind of sweet spread, similar to peanut butter (only with cookies). Then you can spread that on bread, or apples, or anything else. So, these Oreos are essentially cookie-flavored cookies. That seems like a little bit much, doesn't it? Couldn't they have gone with another, more unique flavor than this?
17 Make us question life: Cherry Cola
Full disclosure: I like Cherry Coke. I know that some people can't stand it, but I really do enjoy the blend of cherry and cola flavors. That being said, cherry cola Oreos just seem perplexing. After all, what is the one thing that you're supposed to do with Oreos more than any other cookie? Dip them in milk! So how exactly would you milk taste after a few of these weirdos being dipped in there? Cherry cola milk?! No thank you. Plus, the popping candy trying to emulate the fizziness of soda is just sad.
16 Make us question life: Candy Corn
Is there a candy out there that is more despised than candy corn? We struggle to think of one. From its wholly unappealing name to its sickly sweetness to its waxy texture, candy corn is just one of those things that nobody can really say that honestly enjoy eating. So of course, Oreo went ahead and made candy corn Oreos. There are so many different flavors out there! Is this an indication that the people at Oreo are running out of good ideas, so they just started going with the bad ones? Maybe. Can it get worse than this? Just wait and see.
15 What we'd like to see: Marzipan
Where are our friends from Europe? Wouldn't it be nice if Oreo played to some of the more popular tastes in your part of the world? We're here to suggest that Oreo take a chance on a marzipan Oreo. Sure, it may not be the most popular flavor in the United States, due to its subtlety and almond flavor, but come on! Maybe people in North America need to open themselves up to marzipan a little more, and what better way to do that than integrating into a popular cookie? We think this would be marzipantastic!
14 Make us question life: Candy Fish
Do you know what real disappointment is? When someone says they have candy, and you get all excited, and then they whip out a bag of those familiar fish. These soft, waxy, near-flavorless gummy fish just pale in comparison to other candies, so why on Earth would Oreo think that they could add any flavor to a cookie? Of all the candies to choose from out there, this is what they went with? Maybe there needs to be a higher turnover on Oreo's research and development team.
13 Make us question life: Limeade
Oh awesome. Lime flavored Oreos. And not even based on something like key lime pie. No, why would you base the flavor of a cookie on another kind of dessert? Clearly using a drink that brings to mind a neon green powder in a package that is made exclusively with artificial flavors was the way to go. Come on, Oreos! Why did you do this? Are there not enough levels of quality control at the Oreo factory that someone wouldn't have said this was a bad idea?
12 Make us question life: Root Beer Float
Okay, we thought we had hit the pinnacle of bad Oreo flavors based on beverages, but here we are, with root beer float. Come on, everybody. A root beer float isn't just about flavor! It's about texture, creaminess, the cold ice cream and the varied flavors of root beer all coming together in one fizzy, creamy treat. You can't recreate that flavor in an Oreo! Why did you even try? Oh and we see there is no popping candy in this one. Did you only think of that later?
11 What we'd like to see: Sprite
Fine, Oreo wants to get weird with their flavors and start throwing anything against the wall, then let's do Sprite. Yeah, you read that correctly. Sprite. Sure, maybe the idea of fizzy, lemon-lime Oreos seems strange to you. Except how could it be strange at this point? Look at everything they've already done! Sandwich a Sprite flavored cream between two lemon cookies and boom! Sprite Oreos. We don't even care if you think that sounds terrible. Oreo probably has it written on a whiteboard somewhere already.
10 Make us question life: Toasted Coconut
Okay, this is at least more normal. Coconut-flavored cookies? Sure! We're down with that. The only problem is that coconut is such an unpopular flavor. At the very least, it's divisive. There are some people who swear by coconut. They're the kind of folks who keep buying Bounty bars and Almond Joys. This cookie also has flakes of toasted coconut in it, which may or may not give it that signature coconut texture. You know, the kind that is always an unpleasant surprise?
9 What we'd like to see: Tomato Basil
Look, we think that Oreo gets pretty creative with their flavors, but why not take it up a notch? Why not go for some classic flavors that everyone loves? Our next pitch to Oreo: tomato basil. Sure, some people would find the idea of a tomato basil cookie pretty weird. Would they buy a package just to try them anyway? Almost certainly! What's wrong with having a savory cookie? And there is no flavor profile that is more revered than fresh tomato and basil. If Oreo could somehow add in a mozzarella flavored middle, then boom! Caprese Oreos. You're welcome.
8 Make us question life: Marshmallow Peep
However, instead of our (if we may say) brilliant idea for tomato Basil Oreos, we have these. First of all, has anyone eaten a marshmallow peep because they enjoy them? We always thought they were just a novelty, something that could be used in contests of "how many of these can you fit in your mouth at one time." We have to imagine that this filling is pretty gross because Peeps on their own are kind of gross! They're way too sweet, have a soft, truly unpleasant texture, and are full of bright, artificial colors. Well fine. If Oreo wants to make their cookies with weird snack flavors, then we suggest...
7 What we'd like to see: Doritos
Yeah, let's get weird with it. Doritos-flavored Oreos! Imagine if you will a nacho cheese flavored center sandwiched between two nacho cheese flavored cookies, creating a taste explosion not dissimilar from what might be one of the most popular snack foods on the planet. Oh, is this too strange for you? Well, we think that Oreo has already gotten too strange, and they haven't even fully embraced how many crazy flavors they could really put out there! If you ask us, they're wasting their potential, and Doritos-flavored Oreos would definitely sell. Just look at the Doritos Locos Taco! This would be a hit, trust us.
6 Make us question life: Hot and Spicy Cinnamon
You know those cinnamon hearts that everyone always hated eating as a kid but they would inevitably end up being handed out on Valentine's Day? Why not have them in cookie form? Well, because of what we just said. Everyone hated them! Is this Oreo's way of trying to tap into the nostalgia of begrudgingly eating a gross, spicy candy just because it was candy and that's what kids do? We don't get it. There's can't be any other reason to want to eat these. Besides, if Oreo really wanted to get creative with a spicy cookie, we have a suggestion.
5 What we'd like to see: Ghost Pepper
In the words of Michael Keaton playing Bruce Wayne in Batman, "You want to get nuts? Let's get nuts!" Ghost Pepper Oreos! Yeah, we said it. These would be hilarious! You could eat them yourself as a challenge, or you could trick your friends. Imagine the sheer amount of hilarious YouTube videos that could be made. This is an awesome idea. Not only that, but you would definitely need to have a glass of milk handy with these things, keeping that classic Oreo aesthetic intact. We have a feeling Oreo won't use this idea, even though it's pretty obvious that they should!
4 Make us question life: Watermelon
Watermelon Oreos?! We're offering up amazing ideas like cheesecake and coffee because they haven't been done yet, but Oreo thought "hey, let's give watermelon a try?!" First of all, no. Just no. Second, when has artificial watermelon flavor ever actually tasted like watermelon? The only acceptable form of watermelon dessert is the sugar-coated watermelon gummies. These are just ridiculous. Just because the creme looks like little slices of watermelon (just barely, by the way) does not mean this idea is cute, fun, or tasty. If Oreo is going to do this, then why not...
3 What we'd like to see: Pizza
Oh yeah, this is where we are now. Pizza-flavored Oreos. Why not, right? People love Oreos, and people love pizza. That seems to be about the only criteria needed to create a new Oreo flavor, right? You don't have to put in any more thought than that! Just think about how great these could be. Imagine putting pizza-flavored Oreos on an actual pizza! This could be one of the wildest and biggest hits in junk food since the KFC Double Down. But no, instead what does Oreo give us?
2 Make us question life: Cookies and Creme
Do you know what these are? Take a guess. We'll give you a second. Try to think really hard about this flavor, and see what it really is. Did you figure it out? They're Oreo-flavored Oreos! What?! Seriously, no coffee flavor, but Oreo-flavored Oreos?! Come on! This has got to be the weakest idea that we have ever seen. This is truly the nadir of creativity over at Oreo headquarters. If they're really running out of ideas, then maybe they need to tap into a flavor that is all too popular, and yet hasn't even been touched by Oreo. Something that really speaks to the modern consumer. We are, of course, talking about...
1 What we'd like to see: Avocado
Avocado Oreos! Why not? They've done every other crazy flavor, so why not really go all in and make an Oreo that appeals to the millennial on the go? These would make so much money that it would be hilarious. Imagine the amazing color that the filling could be: that beautiful, healthy green of a nice, ripe avocado. They could even keep the chocolate cookies on these because then it would loosely resemble the dark skin of an actual avocado! Come on, Oreo. You're tapped out. You've done everything. You need this, and you know it!